Sex & Dating

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“On God drop me off at planet no boys allowed.”

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Kehlani discusses their sexuality The Creative Come Up TikTok.

Following the release of their album, CRASH, Kehlani has become more vocal about political issues and even their own coming out journey. One lesson, in particular, is one that many feminine presenting queer people, are learning too. The lesson? Decentering men.

What does decentering men mean?

Decentering men refers to ”acknowledging the systemic influences that have perpetuated male-centered ideologies and reclaiming the agency to define and validate our own values,”  Journey Magazine shared.

How do I decenter men?

For Kehlani, this took the form of embracing women. After coming out as lesbian four years ago, they realized, “Actually, all of the f–king elevation in my life that has come from de-centering men… in every f-cking area of it… When I prioritized women and also just centered myself and women? When all the bad b-tches decide what planet we’re going to after we f-ck this one, invite me, because I will thrive.”

@kehlanion god drop me off at planet no boys allowed♬ original sound – Kehlani

As for those who question their sexuality because they have a child, Kehlani quickly gathered them. “Bringing up the fact that I had a child, or bringing up ex-boyfriends from four years ago or before, bringing up situations from when I was 20? I’m 29. I will be 30 next year,” they continued.

“I don’t know why there’s this inability to fathom that I’m a raging lesbian — and yes, my music is gay! Who I perform to and for is the gays. And if you’re stuck in the past, it’s between you and your God. If you’re a man still bringing up my ex-boyfriend’s, just say you want to f-ck them.”

Sep 19, 2024, Ask a Sexpert?

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